Day 14 - Finally Some American Gaudiness!

Distance -98.9 miles

Today was not very different from yesterday weather-wise, the rain was throwing more of a hissy and the temperture never rose above 55, hooray. Still, we pressed on and made it the distance from Harrison to our last stop in Montana, West Yellowstone! Never have we been so glad to see all the silly attractions that come with an American Tourist Trap (ATT).
After waking happily warm and dry in the Harrison Community Church, we went back to sleep for an hour. Then we got up and rolled over to the local diner and punished some delicious country breakfast which thoroughly recharged our chi, and we purchased our day's snacks at yon country grocery and hardware store (perfect if you need both a box of cheerios and a pack of nails). We rode for 10 miles/418 years south toward Norris in a brutalizing headwind, replete with rain, cold, and 18-wheelers that could blast you right off the road. After a quick chi influx at the Norris gas station, we rode over a rather large mountain on our 16-mile jump to Ennis. Along the way we passed a large cow field and as we moved past it, three cows began running after us. Then another three. Then ten more. By the end we had at least 1296 cows stampeding beside us, and we felt really cool. Like Robert Redford or Clint Eastwood or someone else sweaty and bearded.
We ate lunch in Ennis, most of our food having been purchased in the gas station there which were probably the kinds of foods our mothers never allowed in grade school. Fortunately, the wind turned in our favor and our exodus from Ennis was aided by a fierce but welcome tailwind. We pressed on for around 40 more miles until we hit the National Forest surrounding West Yellowstone. And boy is it ever pretty! I know this because the pictures on the internet say so, since there was a serious fog situation at the entrance into the forest. But at least the fog was high enough for us to enjoy the picturesque lakes along the road toward our destination and for the huge passing trucks to not squish us.
Then we saw them. Two bald eagles, the symbols of our great nation perched in splendor upon a tree branch by Earthequake Lake. We stood at attention and saluted for 39 minutes until they bade us leave and moved on. We rolled alongside the water until Montana got jealous that we were leaving her so soon and decided to give me a flat tire. Again. Seriously Montana, we're just friends. Stop being so clingy. Geez. So we blew an hour at a nearby saloon (only in the west are saloons the kinds of places you bring your family) repairing my dumb tire, eating soup for chi flow, and mooching french fries from people with jobs. Finally complete with repairs, we crushed on for the last 16 miles to West Yellowstone, its glittering lights a beacon in the pristine wilderness.
Now I reckon that most people find places like this (ATTs) repulsive and a stain in the midst of a beautiful landscape. I used to be one of those people. However, those people have not ridden bicycles over 1000 miles in less than two weeks and been blasted by frigid Montana rain all day. To us, it was paradise. After taking it all in and searching places for lodging, we settled on the Brandin' Iron, mostly because of their hot tub and free breakfast buffet. We dropped everything in the room and fell in the hot tubs, enjoying every skin-boiling moment in man's third to second greatest invention. After that, Aaron and I walked around town, drawn by the lure of the Golden Arches of Mickey D's to double cheeseburgers and egregious amounts of soda (that chi won't recharge itself you know). We were so full and felt like puke, so we naturally decided to each eat a pint of ice cream as well, resulting in some serious McGrumbles in the nether regions. We waddled back to the hotel and ta-da, here we are! Tomorrow we plan on taking a shorter trip so we can thoroughly enjoy Yellowstone and all its glory. Of course, we'll keep you posted on our travels, eats, and grizzly encounters.
One last thing though. Apparently, in Montana it is perfectly normal to leave an open sign in the window/porch of your shop, whether or not that is actually the case. In Harrison there was a knick-knack store that had, and I am not making this up, a grand total of FIVE open signs in and around it. And it was closed. Duh. In West Yellowstone, Aaron and I saw at least seven clearly closed stores with open signs brightly gleaming in the windows. And you haven't lived until you read a "Come in we're open" sign three feet away from "sorry we're closed" sign in the same window. It's like a Dali painting or something.
Stay Chi'd up protesters!

- Posted by Sam